Some faults of English Style to be avoided

I've read upon a chapter when trying to teach Zenzen better English.

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A student who tries to produce a certain effect, sometimes goes to extremes and produces a different result from what he/she intends. Some of the main pitfalls into which students stumble are given below:

Pedantry
This is indicated when the student tries his/her best to show off and pretend that he/she has great learning. He/she thus introduces useless facts and details in a conceited manner. He/she uses long & supposedly learned words to give a high-sounding quality to his/her work.

He/she prefers to say...

1. " The custodian of the law" instead of "policeman"
2. "In all human probability" instead of "most likely"/"most probably"
3. "Lunar effulgence" instead of "moonlight"
4. " The nasal organ"/"The most prominent feature" instead of "nose"
5. "Tensorial artist" instead of "barber"
6. "Maternal relative" instead of "mother"
7. "Metamorphosis" instead of "change"


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Really funny. Imagine you're asking your mum for a piece of cheesecake, you should say, " Can I have a piece of cheesecake, dear maternal relative?" ( Like not very shou with your mum)

OR

you're trying to say your nose is stucked, you should say, " Oh for pete's sake, my nasal organ/ most prominent feature is unable to absorb air particles." ( Like writing a chem/bio essay)

OR

you're trying to comment someone that he has changed a lot in appearance, you should say, " You have a massive metamorphosis!" ( Sounds like Transformers or Power Rangers)

OR

you're trying to shout to the policeman, you should say," Mr. Custodian of the Law!!! He snatched my purse!" ( I bet the thief had fled far away even before you can complete your sentence)


Enough of the lame jam, this is just one of the funny things I've found out & learnt about from the experience of giving tuition.